Bittersweet
by Saiyachick
Summary: Post New Moon Incident. A ghost of a whisper lingering in his ear. The faint kiss caressing his cold cheek. Thrumming of an everlasting heartbeat. Beautiful. A smell from many years ago. Intoxicating. Freesia.
1. Chapter One: It's a Bittersweet Symphony

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyers. I don't own the song "Bittersweet Symphony".

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**Bittersweet**

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A hauntingly beautiful melody echoed throughout the room. His aunt was late again, but he did not care; she had a rough time with the New York City traffic. His nimble fingers caressed the piano keys flawlessly, eliciting a harmonious tune. The melody clashed with the violin CD he had popped in before his performance. He had a recital in only a few short weeks, so he needed all the preparation he could get.

"You are improving well, Devon."

He turned his head to the right and saw one of the piano instructors walking into the room. "Thank you," Devon whispered lowly.

The instructor's eyes softened. "Still mourning?"

Devon glanced down at the piano, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "She was my mother. How could I _not _mourn? I have no one left."

"You said you would be staying with your aunt, did you not?"

"Yeah, I guess." Devon bit his lip, thinking about his deceased mother. "I'm basically an orphan. No mother. No father. I am alone."

"You are not alone, child," the instructor sighed. He sat down on the piano bench and put a hand on the nine-year-olds shoulder. "Your parents are still alive in your memories and heart. That is the one true place they will never die." He smiled fondly and began to play a beautiful song. "I lost my parents long ago Devon—I turned out fine."

"Everyone says you are a grump," Devon muttered under his breath.

The instructor scoffed. "Everyone has their bad days." The song slowly shifted to another song of the past. It almost hurt him to play the melody. Memories flooded into his mind. A ghost of a whisper lingering in his ear. The faint kiss caressing his cold cheek. Thrumming of an everlasting heartbeat. Beautiful.

"I know this song."

The instructor turned to Devon and furrowed his eyebrows. "You know it?"

"Yeah," Devon said. He hummed the song under his breath, shocking his instructor. "I do not remember where I heard it, but I have. Somewhere. When I was very little."

He took out the music sheet and rested it against the piano's podium. "It must be a mistake. I wrote this piece for someone very dear to me, but I never played it publicly." He pondered for a moment and ceased his playing. A scent filled his nostrils. A smell from many years ago. Intoxicating. Freesia. His eyes widened slightly as he got up and darted off the stage.

"Devon?" a feminine voice called out.

Devon shifted his head from left to right, confused at where the instructor went. He shrugged and turned towards an opening door and saw his aunt. She smiled and walked to the stage, standing behind the piano bench. Devon remained silent and stared at the music sheet before him. His fingers ran across the keys in a fluid motion, copying the melodious tune he once heard.

A short gasp came from his aunt. "W-where did you learn this?"

Devon stopped his playing as he heard a choked cry come from his aunt. He turned around, confused by his aunt's sudden emotional breakdown. "Why are you crying?"

"How did you learn this song? I only use to play it when you were little and restless with sleep," she cried softly. "You couldn't possibly remember."

A smile formed on Devon's lips, not quite reaching his eyes. "So _that's _where I remember it from."

"How?" she whispered, haunted by the resounding memory. An array of happiness and agony washed over her tortured body.

Eight years had passed since she left Forks, Washington. Eight years had passed since _he _left her. Eight years had passed since she moved on with her life—but not quite.

Devon shrugged, gathering his things, leaving behind the forgotten music sheet. "Instructor Cullen played it earlier." He got up from the bench and began to walk down the aisles. "He taught me it just before you arrived."


	2. Chapter Two: No Change, I Can't Change

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyers. I also don't own the song "Bittersweet Symphony".

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**Bittersweet**

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Bella didn't say a word during the taxi ride home with Devon. An overwhelming sense of shock made her heart beat rapidly like it did before—like it did when _he _was around. After _he_ had left, Bella had suffered so many months of depression to the point where she became almost insane. Once Bella saw the error of her ways, she decided to give life a second chance.

Then one fateful day while cleaning her room, one of the loose floorboards made an odd sound. At that moment, acceptance entered her body when she found her old memoirs of the family she loved dearly. Little presents, plane tickets, pictures, and a CD were all that remained of her past life. She knew that _he _still loved her, and that was all that mattered.

So she graduated. Bella went along with her life and slowly pieced herself together. Whenever she was about to fall, her best friends Jacob and Angela were there to pick her up. Even Lauren had come to befriend Bella overtime—perhaps so she would not be taunted about her choppy corn silk hair. Bella even learned about Jacob's dirty little secret of becoming a werewolf.

The pack had saved her life. The first time was when Bella had stupidly wandered in the meadow alone, even after she had been warned so many times not to lurk by herself. Laurent had attempted a feeding and kill, but the pack had chased him off and tore him to shreds. Victoria was another thing. It seemed as though she vanished off the traces of Washington. Not a single threat came to haunt her from the malicious vampire.

After finding the plane tickets to visit her mother, Bella noticed an expiration date. She and Angela decided to fly down to Florida to visit Renee and Phil. Much to her surprise, Bella's cousin Adrianna had been in town with her new son Devon. Adrianna's husband had passed away during a military mishap in the early years of the marriage, but left behind the little miracle known as Devon.

Bella adored the child. It wasn't as if she wanted children of her own, but the fact that her cousin struggled with supporting a kid on her own. Bella soon moved to New York City to attend college, much to everyone's shock, and received her degree in anthropology and archaeology. She wanted to travel the world and maybe if she was lucky, she would find _him_.

Her adventures were put to halt soon after her college graduation when Devon came into her life. Adrianna found out about her cancer when it was in the later stages. Ignorance wasn't always bliss. Bella welcomed Devon into her life and introduced him to the world of music and piano. He had found his niche. Devon had played the flute, violin, and piano, but he excelled in the latter.

The boy could be in Julliard one day if he put his mind to it. Bella enjoyed having him around, but she didn't coddle Devon too much. He needed to properly adjust on his own, and within time he adapted to the lifestyle. Within those months of solitude, Devon attended a private school and accomplished many things that even an adult had not. Many wondered how Bella could even afford tuition to attend college in New York, let alone pay for Devon's private schooling and piano lessons.

It seemed as if money appeared magically in her bank account. When she first withdrew money from her account, a large sum of money had been found. Bella thought it was a mistake but the bank would not put up with her hassle after they were notified of the legitimacy of the money. When she refused to take any of the money, certain things randomly happened. Stocks that always seemed to stay up were put into her name. An Audi appeared in front of her shabby apartment in New York. Her _new _studio apartment people called and asked when she would move in.

Bella was about to give up all together when one thing changed her point of view. She had been down in Forks to visit Charlie, and surprisingly enough, Charlie experienced a similar money situation. His retirement was _well _taken care of—he was told a distant uncle left it to him. When Bella went to bed that night, she found a single piece of paper on her rocking chair. In perfect manuscript, the parchment simply stated:

_**Humor me, Bella.**_

And so she did. Bella finally accepted it all. She knew that _his_ words from so long ago were all false. Lies. If _he_ didn't love her, then _he _wouldn't have done all those things for her. _He _did exist. Bella always loved _him _and she always would. Nothing could change the deep bond that they shared. She still loved _him_, but nobody can love something that they couldn't have.

Even though Bella somewhat moved on, she never dated. Not once ever since _he _left her had Bella gone out on impulse. The only times she actually did go out was with a group of friends and even that was rare.

No. She never moved on completely. Time had been kind to her however. Her height stayed the same, along with her pallid skin tone. She kept her hair length the exact same, always hoping that one day _he _would return. But _he _didn't. It wasn't a clean break. The edges were jagged like a broken bone, but sometimes even bones don't heal.

Bella was pulled back into reality when the Taxi driver stopped in front of her studio apartment. She thanked the driver and paid the expenses, following Devon into the building. Her mind was her own at the moment. She still reveled in her memoirs, hoping to find a trace of answers. _Why_? Was all that resounded in her head.

How much of a masochist could _he _be? Bella herself was torn in between being a sadist and masochist. Just the thought of _him _being so near made her heart flutter again—with real ardency; but the close distance must cause _him_ pain. _He_ would probably run again. _He _always would. Perhaps Alice had a vision about the Volturi. An icy terror gripped Bella. No. That couldn't happen. What would happen to Devon? She could never leave her nephew.

The minutes passed before her eyes. Her head was clouded with misery and anxiety. She didn't notice that she had already prepared dinner for her nephew and sat across the table from him. He stared at her with confusion and Bella flashed him a weak smile. Devon shrugged and decided to leave his aunt to dwell in her mood. He excused himself and went to bed quietly, Bella following to tuck him in. She kissed the boy's forehead tenderly and whispered a goodnight.

She didn't have much of an appetite during the meal. Her body seemed to do everything involuntarily. She was moving and it felt as if everything was in slow motion. Bella walked back into the kitchen, wiping the counters, and cleaned what little mess was left. Before she knew it, Bella had propped herself on top of the counter, a glass of red wine dangling in her hands.

Her hand grabbed the remote to turn on some soft jazz. She dimmed the lights and listened as the music mixed with the rustling curtains from the New York wind. This was her life. She was alone and yet she was not. Devon would be with her until he saw fit to leave. Charlie was sound asleep in Forks, Washington. Phil was probably tending to a very pregnant Renee in Jacksonville, Florida. Bella laughed at the thought of her mother being pregnant again. The woman was too much of a child herself.

The wind picked up and blew her hair softly. A chill ran down her spine as she rested her head against the cabinet. She wasn't ready for sleep. Insomnia was her friend over the past eight years. Bella took another swig of her wine, coughing from the exceeded amount that trickled down her throat. The fine wine was bittersweet, just like her life. She had _him _and yet she didn't. _He _was there but not quite.

_He _was the sun glinting off a precious gem. _He _was the wind caressing her flushed cheeks. _He _was the angry honking of Taxi's in New York City rush hour. _He _was the beautiful melody of a chiming piano.

_He _was everywhere except the one placed it really mattered the most; with her.

The CD had changed into one of the past. Her lullaby filled the room and wove throughout her distant heart. Memories of the past flashed before her hollow eyes. A dinner in Port Angeles. The sun illuminating a meadow, _his _body shimmering like millions of diamonds. An embrace from an unforgettable cherub of the Gods.

She blinked, forgotten tears streaming down her face. The memories had turned for the worst. James giving her that feral stare, his burgundy eyes intent on his prey. Broken bones. Her blood smeared across the shattered mirror. Jasper colliding with _him _during her eighteenth birthday party. _His _sad goodbyes and pitiful lies. Laurent whispering her death as he hunched over her in the meadow.

"Edward," Bella cried softly into the dimness of the room. Her song had ended, just like the crumbling barrier of her strength.

Her eyes closed as she placed a hand over her mouth to stifle the choked sob. She expected to see him stand before her. She expected his voice to kiss her ears and break her away from the agonizing solitude. She expected to find herself back in Forks, Washington with Edward in their meadow.

She opened her eyes back to reality. Another night. Another breakdown. Another bittersweet taste of her empty life.

Bella sat the glass down and jumped off of the counter, walking down the dark hallways of her home. She opened the door of her room and closed it, isolating and hiding the pain she felt from the past eight years. No, she didn't move on quite. The actress within her was good from escaping unpleasant emotions.


	3. Chapter Three: Let Me Cleanse My Mind

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyers. I also don't own the song "Bittersweet Symphony".

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**Bittersweet**

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**New Moon: Denali, Alaska**

Alice gasped, an unbearable ache clenching her nerves. Over the past months she had been experiencing unpleasant visions of Bella's constantly changing life. The visions were not expected, just completely scattered. The first had been of her broken life, bringing all down with her. The second had been of Bella in a psyche ward. The third had been the one she just experienced.

Bella fooled everyone into thinking she was whole. She put on a façade and pretended to be alright while on the inside she was empty. She supported herself along with her nephew, but still pined over Edward. Alice made a mental note to herself to send a letter to Adrianna to go to a doctor.

Alice shuddered at all three visions. Every time she attempted to call Edward, he would snarl at her and order for the visions to stop. As if mere words could cease the sporadic images in her head. No. The pictures in her mind of Bella were like flashing movies. Bella's whole life had been shown in various situations.

"Alice?"

She flinched, staring at her husband. "Jasper," she whispered hoarsely.

Jasper frowned, consumed with his love's sorrow along with his own. "I am sorry."

"I know," Alice replied. "It is not your fault."

"Yes it is," he growled. "If I didn't snap at Bella then we would all be—"

She pressed her fingers against his lips. "No. Do not think like that." She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and then froze once more.

_Bella stumbled on the ledge of a mountain, staring down at the crashing waves of the ocean. She spoke to herself, whispering assurance and words of redemption. Her eyes burned with retribution and deliverance, her feet scuffling closer towards the edge. She flung her frail body towards the vast waters, screaming the whole way down. Her body disappeared into the black velvet waters. She did not resurface._

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Authoress Note: Hopefully that cleared up everything. Basically Alice kept seeing visions of Bella ever since Edward had left her. The first two chapters were visions that Alice had of Bella's life that probably would have happened. Thanks all. Much love.


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